Executive summary for those who don't want to read to the end: "Bugger".

Last weekend was the seventh round of the Scholarship at Oulton Park. This
was the first "real" race of the championship - all the previous events have
been speed events (hillclimbs and sprints).

Friday was a practice day, and approximately two thirds of the field had
turned up. I was booked in for the afternoon. I was particularly keen to get
as much practice as possible, partly because Oulton Park is a notoriously
difficult circuit to learn and partly because I was very keen to be near the
sharp end of the grid for our first ever race. The idea of being in the
middle with 15 people trying to hit me from behind and 15 waiting to spin in
front of me really didn't appeal!

Things started badly right from the word go. The car suffered from a misfire
caused by water in the electrics after trailering the car up through
torrential storms the night before. I was forced to miss the first session,
but with the help of Derek Moore from Classic Carriage, I was pretty certain
that we had got things sorted for the second. Unfortunately, I was
mistaken - the misfire returned almost immediately after I left the pit
lane. I limped back round to the paddock and we managed to get the thing
running in time for me to get five or six laps in before the end of the
session. Not good.

The third and final session was wet, which was good in that it gave me some
wet weather practice (something that I've not had much of yet), but bad
because I hadn't had anything like enough laps to build up to the dry corner
speeds properly. It was encouraging though - whereas in the previous
session, I'd been passed by everyone, in the wet session I was passing
everyone else. I actually quite enjoyed driving in the wet - as long as
you're subtle with your right foot (both on the brakes and the accelerator)
you can actually keep up a pretty good pace! I didn't particularly like the
way that the water looped over the top of the screen and onto the inside
though. After two or three laps, I was driving on peripheral vision and
memory...

Raceday dawned clear and bright. I was almost disappointed - I was half
hoping for it to be wet for qualifying as that might give me half a chance
of getting a decent grid position. Before quailifying, I predicted that I'd
be about 1/3 of the way down the field. My prediction wasn't far off - I
ended up 13th (of 29). Exactly where I didn't want to be. My lap chart made
encouraging reading - I was consistently shaving about 0.3 to 0.5 seconds
off each lap. I just ran out of laps :-(

We were scheduled to be the last race of the day. There were a number of
interesting classes to watch, with the headline class being Formula Palmer
Audi. The first race (Ginettas) went without a hitch. Then the FPA boys were
let loose. What a bunch of nutters! Five cars out at the first corner and
race stopped. Restart and another three cars out. Then it starts hissing
down with rain - race stopped. The Porsches get their race next and then FPA
has another attempt. Again, they don't manage to complete a lap due to "over
exuberant" driving. By this time, we were worrying that we wouldn't get to
race at all, as we were running out of time. Luckily the organisers
shortened all the remaining races to 8 laps instead of 10 and moved us up
from last to second to last. The 2CVs and Modified Saloons went, and then it
was us.

I lined up in my "12A" slot on the grid. 12A indeed! Just call it 13 like it
really is, guys!

The track was still distinctly damp, especially on the right hand side of
the grid (off the racing line), so I decided to use the green flag lap as an
opportunity to practice my start and see how much grip there was. Answer -
not very much at all! I decided to use the "granny at the supermarket" start
technique so eloquently described by Mr. Brundle a few weeks ago on ITV...

I got an abosolutely dream start, passing four or five cars before the first
corner. Score one for granny! I held station through Cascades and Island and
made up one more place accelerating out of the hairpin. Another place on the
exit of the first chicane and up into (I think) seventh position. Not bad!

On the way into the second chicane, someone missed the
entry and came to a halt, right on the racing line in the middle of the
chicane. Before the race we had been told by the clerk of the course that
if we miss one of the chicanes, we should come to a halt in order to avoid
a 10 second penalty. Everyone managed to avoid him, but he started up again just as
I was coming past and we ended up running side by side. I had a run on him,
however, and would have been able to take him on the exit. Unfortunately,
the car in front of me chose that moment to spin. I couldn't go left, as
the other car was there, so all I could do is try to squeeze past. The
front wheels (just) made it, but there was no way that the rear of the car
(slightly wider than the front on a Seven) could fit. My right hand rear
hit his right hand rear and I was spun round to face the oncoming traffic.
Not a pleasant experience! I tried to get going again, if only to get out
of the way, at which point it became immediately obvious that something was
very wrong with the car. Loud banging noises from the rear :-(

I pulled off the circuit and joined the marshalls in their post. By spotting
who was missing their rear wing, I was able to work out that the guy I'd hit
was Graham Smith, ironically just in front of me in the championship. Sorry
Graham! I got an excellent view of the rest of the race from the marshalls
post, in particular a superb battle for third between Dean and Alistair,
Alistair eventually coming out on top. Alistair was the driver that I'd
passed after the first chicane, just before the accident, which meant that
I'd had a good chance of being on the podium if I hadn't broken the car :-(

After the race, I inspected the damage. The wing was scrap, obviously
(although the magic plastic bolts had done their stuff again - no particular
damage to the bodywork). That was the least of my worries, however. The
radius arm had broken in half, and its mounting had sheared off the axle.
The chassis rail immediately behind the axle (not structural, thank
goodness) was bent. The axle had turned so that the propshaft was hitting
the top of the transmission tunnel. The front wing also had a graze from
squeezing past Graham.

So the bottom line is terrible practice, awful qualifying, less than half a
lap of racing and (I guess) 500 quids worth of damage to the car. All in,
this disaster has cost me the thick end of 800 quid by the time you take
practice fees, hotel bills, etc. into account.

Someone remind me why I do this again?